Monday, January 2, 2012

Changes

Everything in life changes, constantly.. Sometimes we notice and sometimes it goes so fast that we don't.
Sometimes after a lot of changes you finally find yourself in a situation you actually like, in every aspect.. This is what happened to me just a few weeks ago.

First off, you should know something about myself, as a kid I was very shy, in grade school I actually didn't talk to anyone, and other kids always made fun of me for that. I was always sad because I had no friends.
Nothing changed in Middle school, kids were still making fun of me, I was always the last one to be chosen during physics.
In that period i had my first crush for a girl, and was friendzoned for the first time..
In that period my mom died.

In high school I started to change, I realized i couldn't make it without friends, so slowly, I started to socialize, I was not very comfortable around other people, and i was still shy as fuck, so slowly, I started to change my personality, trying to become WHO people liked, a loved figure, someone who is fun, spontaneous, the opposite of who i was.
After the high school years, I managed to become a totally different person, I was open to everybody and able to "break the ice" with someone I didn't know.
I started to learn how people think and how i should act with each person, how to make them like me..

After that I found my first girlfriend, had sex for the first time, I also had a lot of friends, Everything was perfect!

But then.. i slowly started to realize what being in a relationship meant. I spent all my free time with my girlfriend, went rarely out with friends (and when i did she was there, so i had to stay with her still) And just today i realized that my social life is fucked.

My best friends don't call me anymore to go out, I can't spend a nice day with some friends because It gets awkward after a few minutes because we've got nothing to talk about, also because i have no hobbies, nothing specific to talk about, my life is fucking boring.

Life is a shit, you will never achieve your dreams, you will never have what you want, you can't have a girl, friends and money all together, you have to choose what is best for you, and you will ALWAYS feel bad after choosing.

1 comment:

  1. you seem to know a lot about life. good read!

    ReplyDelete